Daycare

It's official, we've entered the clingy, shy stage with C this week.

Every morning when I've gone to drop him off, he's practically glued himself to me once we hit his classroom. Normally, he runs in as if he can't get to the toys fast enough. Yesterday as I was giving him a hug goodbye, he practically climbed me like a tree as I tried to pass him off to one of his room's teachers.

Don't get me wrong, I love the extra snuggles that the (normally) daddy's boy is giving me, but it makes it that much harder to leave him when his big hazel eyes fill with tears and he lets out a heart-rending wail as I walk away.

At least he's not the only one going through this right now. His "buddy" Lucas seems to be in the same phase. Lucas' mom, Lisa, and I frequently exchange knowing glances in the morning as our boys seem fine only to wind up to meltdown mode as we try to leave the room.

On the plus side, I definitely don't mind when he runs to me at pick up time. That? That is easily the best part of my day.

The wrong side of the bed

Happy Friday! Well, for most people it is. Apparently the Leesmann men of KC failed to get that memo this morning.

This morning was rough as both Ricky and C were grumpy. C, who normally wakes up and contentedly talks to himself until we get him out of the crib, started fussing as soon as Ricky went in to grab him. I wonder if he's got another tooth getting ready to break through, but seeing as C's vocabulary is a bit limited still it's not like he can fill us in on what's going on with his body.

Ricky woke up a bit earlier than normal due to not being able to sleep, so honestly this should have been my first indicator. The second should've been the fact that he was pestering C after breakfast. Not in a mean way, but in a way that's a dead giveaway that he was a big brother growing up. He's done this to me before, too, so I get how frustrating it can be to go through. Especially since I tend to be an angry crier, which just exacerbates everything. No bueno.

C's not really crazy about his sippy cup being on his high chair tray if he's not actively using it, but Ricky kept teasing him by putting it back on the tray after C tried removing it. This just led to five minutes or so of the back and forth of Ricky putting the cup on the tray, C whining and trying to remove it, lather, rinse and repeat.

Finally fed up with it, I just removed the cup so it was closer to me. Unfortunately both of their moods continued through the getting ready to leave process. C whining, Ricky acting off. It's not fun. And if you've read previous entries, you can probably guess that I ended up snapping at Ricky (which I'm not proud of, but it happens).

He ended up simply saying bye and walking from the garage back into the house. No goodbye kiss or "love you" for me. Sucks, but I get it.

With a defeated sigh I turned and got in the car. C seemed content enough on the way to school so hopefully his mood will be better when I pick him up. Ricky, due to the stressful nature of his job, I won't hold my breath. Maybe his mood will improve after he works out and mows the lawn. After all, "endorphins make you happy, and happy people don't kill their husbands." Or... annoy their wives and kids in this case.

I wish there was a way I could help my guys feel better when they get into these funks. I don't like seeing people, especially my people, unhappy. But I'm only one person, and sometimes bad moods just need to be worked through. Hopefully this is one of those times that the working through is quick.

Bookshelf II

Normally I'm a speed reader. I have been all my life. But I just finished a book that took me two months to read: Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project.

I've been really into memoirs for the past couple of years, and I saw Gretchen speak at a work event back in February. I didn't think her presentation was as funny as the other speakers, but I didn't think she was horrible either - she was okay. So when I found I could get two of her books for the price of one from the event on Amazon I thought I'd give her a shot.

I wanted to like the book, really I did, but I had the hardest time getting into it.

I wonder if that's because I saw a lot of myself in her and her admitted faults. Like her, I'm quick to judge and I like to "debate" (Ricky just calls me argumentative - I, of course, disagree). Maybe she's just not enough of a difference in personality for me to see it as a form of escape (or walking in someone else's shoes) to enjoy - reasons I prefer Jen Lancaster and Jenny Lawson better. They've had all kinds of madcap experiences that are so out of my realm that they give me something to think about (and in Jen's case, the sort of person I wouldn't mind learning from/befriending).

I dunno.

Maybe it's that, but maybe it also has to do with the fact that she's a bit of a research nut and included a lot of that and comments from her blog in the book that slowed things down for me. Research is great and all, but I don't need to know the nitty gritty about it. Hit me with your best quotes you've found and then move on to your perspective again.

I dunno.

At least she gave me a new way to look at the idea of resolutions. They're different from goals. A goal has a tangible end. A resolution should be on-going and something to continually work on/toward. 

I still have her other book to read, but I'm going to take a break from Gretchen for a bit and read The 5th Wave and its sequel next. Ricky's been waiting for me to read those since we got them. Maybe Better Than Before will truly be better. One can hope. 

Pine Grove

When you have a little one that you see on the daily it can be hard to realize how much they have truly grown. Yes, Ricky and I find ourselves saying almost everyday how big C is getting, but last night I had one of those thunderbolt moments.

The weather has been gorgeous lately, and C (as per most little boys) loves spending as much time outside as possible. Our backyard is slightly limited - especially since Ricky had just watered the sodded areas and gardens - so C and I decided to head up to the neighborhood playground.

Normally when we head that way we do so with C riding in the Radio Flyer. Last night we hoofed it instead. Hand-in-hand C and I headed off. It was kind of slow going (he has short legs still), but he made it the whole way.

Let that sink in. My 18-month-old was able to walk about a half-mile, mostly uphill on his own.

My favorite shadow buddy.

We stopped a couple times so I could ask if he wanted to keep going or head back home, and he legit got upset the one time I tried turning around before we reached our final destination. Safe to say my child is strong-willed (at least he comes by it naturally).

Granted he was wiped after going down the slides twice and I had to carry him the whole way home. Worth it. I got baby snuggles, and we made it home much quicker than we made it to the park.

It's amazing how big he's gotten.

The day we went home from the hospital. Pre-buckling up or even getting near a car.

The days are long, but the years are short. No freaking joke.

New motto

I consider myself very fortunate in the fact that I love my job and the vast majority of my co-workers. One of the writers I work with frequently has two simple sentences as her profile on Instagram, and ever since discovering it the phrase has stuck with me.

Do no harm. Take no shit.

I'm kind of seriously in love with this.

Do no harm. Take no shit.

It's almost like she's wrapped up everything I wish to accomplish in my life in six words.

Do no harm. Take no shit.

Let's be honest. I've always looked up to the ladies who are classy, but don't take crap from anyone (some examples: Jen Lancaster, Katharine Hepburn, Eleanor Roosevelt, Tina Fey, etc.). And yet, when it comes to myself, I tend to let myself get trampled on... repeatedly.

Why? Because I want to be true to my Midwestern roots and be nice.

This phrase kind of has me believing I can be both ways, and still be true to myself.

Do no harm: I can continue trying to leave the world a better place. I can still be nice and want to help others.

Take no shit: If someone is rude to me, or condescending, I don't have to take it with a smile while seething inside. I can - and should - stand up for myself.

Maybe it's time to start channeling the manager my girls in Florida witnessed. There, whenever there was an issue I was frequently the one called on to solve it. Why? Because I was "Midwestern-nice but with a backbone."

Me thinks I need to find this again.

If I did it once, surely I should be able to do it again. Right?

Mystery solved

So the weight creep mystery has been solved. I was diagnosed with mono back in early December, and apparently that bastard can stick around for a while. While I thought I was over it, it was just trending down. Then, it decided to come roaring back with a vengeance in a two-and-a-half-week-long flare up.

The good news: I'm starting to trend down again.

The bad news: Pollen vortex has hit me like a freight train. So now I just sound like I have emphysema and have perma-chapped skin between my nose and lips. Fun!

Whatever, at least my weight is no longer up at 178. (Stupid body, holding onto everything, especially water, while sick.)

Back to regular posts soon enough. Thanks for bearing with me.