Bookshelf II

Normally I'm a speed reader. I have been all my life. But I just finished a book that took me two months to read: Gretchen Rubin's The Happiness Project.

I've been really into memoirs for the past couple of years, and I saw Gretchen speak at a work event back in February. I didn't think her presentation was as funny as the other speakers, but I didn't think she was horrible either - she was okay. So when I found I could get two of her books for the price of one from the event on Amazon I thought I'd give her a shot.

I wanted to like the book, really I did, but I had the hardest time getting into it.

I wonder if that's because I saw a lot of myself in her and her admitted faults. Like her, I'm quick to judge and I like to "debate" (Ricky just calls me argumentative - I, of course, disagree). Maybe she's just not enough of a difference in personality for me to see it as a form of escape (or walking in someone else's shoes) to enjoy - reasons I prefer Jen Lancaster and Jenny Lawson better. They've had all kinds of madcap experiences that are so out of my realm that they give me something to think about (and in Jen's case, the sort of person I wouldn't mind learning from/befriending).

I dunno.

Maybe it's that, but maybe it also has to do with the fact that she's a bit of a research nut and included a lot of that and comments from her blog in the book that slowed things down for me. Research is great and all, but I don't need to know the nitty gritty about it. Hit me with your best quotes you've found and then move on to your perspective again.

I dunno.

At least she gave me a new way to look at the idea of resolutions. They're different from goals. A goal has a tangible end. A resolution should be on-going and something to continually work on/toward. 

I still have her other book to read, but I'm going to take a break from Gretchen for a bit and read The 5th Wave and its sequel next. Ricky's been waiting for me to read those since we got them. Maybe Better Than Before will truly be better. One can hope. 

New motto

I consider myself very fortunate in the fact that I love my job and the vast majority of my co-workers. One of the writers I work with frequently has two simple sentences as her profile on Instagram, and ever since discovering it the phrase has stuck with me.

Do no harm. Take no shit.

I'm kind of seriously in love with this.

Do no harm. Take no shit.

It's almost like she's wrapped up everything I wish to accomplish in my life in six words.

Do no harm. Take no shit.

Let's be honest. I've always looked up to the ladies who are classy, but don't take crap from anyone (some examples: Jen Lancaster, Katharine Hepburn, Eleanor Roosevelt, Tina Fey, etc.). And yet, when it comes to myself, I tend to let myself get trampled on... repeatedly.

Why? Because I want to be true to my Midwestern roots and be nice.

This phrase kind of has me believing I can be both ways, and still be true to myself.

Do no harm: I can continue trying to leave the world a better place. I can still be nice and want to help others.

Take no shit: If someone is rude to me, or condescending, I don't have to take it with a smile while seething inside. I can - and should - stand up for myself.

Maybe it's time to start channeling the manager my girls in Florida witnessed. There, whenever there was an issue I was frequently the one called on to solve it. Why? Because I was "Midwestern-nice but with a backbone."

Me thinks I need to find this again.

If I did it once, surely I should be able to do it again. Right?

Bookshelf

Have you ever read a book and you've automatically wanted the author to be your best friend?

In 2008, I lost my first "big kid" job. Allegedly I was insubordinate - my boss at the time even went so far as to claim I got down on my hands and knees and bowed to her (side note: um... what?).

In actuality, I just was over my job and started mentally checking out way too soon causing my work to suffer. Stupid? Undoubtedly, but I was 23 and now see it as a learning experience.

Anyway, in case you don't remember that was the year that practically everyone and their mom lost their job, so it took me a bit longer than it otherwise would have to find another full-time gig. Things got tight, and we were in a bad way financially.

After 2 months I landed a full-time job, and between my two jobs and Ricky's one things were starting to look up again. That's when I discovered her - Jen Lancaster and her first memoir, Bitter is the New Black.

It turns out that Jen had been through a very similar situation in 2001 - but even worse, as hard as that was for me to imagine. Seriously, she helped me see that I wasn't the first person to go through a hard time, and I wouldn't be the last. She also made me laugh harder than I ever had previously while reading a book, so there's that, too.

Yes, she's 10ish years older than me, and has a notorious disdain for Millennials, but I can't help but feel in my heart of hearts that if we had the chance to meet that we'd become instant besties.

Not really, because I'd probably make it awkward somehow and stumble over my words (or literally trip while going to talk to her) and make absolutely no sense when I'm trying to explain to her how much her work means to me, and how much she helped me when I needed it most. And she'd probably smile while backing away signaling for her publicist to save her. And then I'd be sad but thrilled to have met her.

Long story short. I have a major girl crush on Jen. And though she'll never, ever in a million years read this, I just want to say "thank you." Thank you for sharing your stories, making them relatable and making me laugh and realize I'd be okay when it seemed like all hope was lost.

Keep it up, Jen. I adore you.