My son, the headbanger

Toddlers. Little people with a lot of emotions and opinions, but who lack the proper vocabulary with which to express themselves. As a result, they lash out. It would seem their tantrum styles are as varied as they are.

• One of my nieces kicks. Especially if she's being held. That tends to wind in disaster, especially if her father or one of her uncles is holding her. 
• I've seen other kids at day care launch anything they can get their hands on across the room.
• Biters may possibly be the worst. Though they be but little, their teeth are sharp and their jaws are powerful.

C tends to channel an 80s hairband god and bang his head. This sometimes means falling backwards on the floor (most of which is carpet in our house). In the car (or high chair) he likes bonking his head backwards against the headrest. This weekend's tantrum though, took the cake.

He tried to Judo chop the side rail of his crib with his forehead.

But instead of successfully pulling off his new "Daniel-son" move (if you don't get this reference, you're too young), he realized that head + wood + force = pain.

Maybe this is one of his first physics lessons. Probably not.

After ensuring he was okay, no visible lump or bruising, the first words out of my mouth were, "Now what did we learn?"

I wonder how Ricky mastered ventriloquism so quickly. 

Sadly, I doubt this lesson will sink in. At least not yet. Someday though. In the meantime, maybe we should invest in some helmets.

A puzzlement

To have another kid, or not. That is the question.

With C being 19 months old, Ricky and I are starting to toss around the idea of having a second kid. If we did, we wouldn't want them to be too far apart in age. That combined with both of us being 30+ now, if we're going to go that route it needs to be sooner rather than later lest we wind up being old parents.

Not that there's anything wrong with that, but we're already going to be in our upper 40s when C graduates high school. Would prefer not to push that into our 50s if we can avoid it.

We're both pretty torn. We would love to have another little bit in the house, but daycare is expensive. We're comfortable, but not as much so as we would like.

Then I have my own personal concerns. C is wonderful, but my experience bringing him into the world wasn't. I had late developing ICP and pre-e. My labor was moving incredibly fast (at first) until my blood pressure got so high that I was on the verge of stroking out. They had to bring it to a halt and then start it up again with pitocin. That combined with a missed epidural (twice) led to a spinal headache which made the first week of C's life the most miserable I've ever felt.

Birth PTSD? I may have it. Maybe.

Maybe I'm just being selfish.

Maybe.

I had similar anxiety before I got pregnant last time, until we just decided to rip the band-aid off and see what happens. I get the feeling it may come down to that sort of decision again this time.

I just wish I was more confident in what was right.

Indecisiveness sucks.

Daycare

It's official, we've entered the clingy, shy stage with C this week.

Every morning when I've gone to drop him off, he's practically glued himself to me once we hit his classroom. Normally, he runs in as if he can't get to the toys fast enough. Yesterday as I was giving him a hug goodbye, he practically climbed me like a tree as I tried to pass him off to one of his room's teachers.

Don't get me wrong, I love the extra snuggles that the (normally) daddy's boy is giving me, but it makes it that much harder to leave him when his big hazel eyes fill with tears and he lets out a heart-rending wail as I walk away.

At least he's not the only one going through this right now. His "buddy" Lucas seems to be in the same phase. Lucas' mom, Lisa, and I frequently exchange knowing glances in the morning as our boys seem fine only to wind up to meltdown mode as we try to leave the room.

On the plus side, I definitely don't mind when he runs to me at pick up time. That? That is easily the best part of my day.