Rainbow and SM Pkwy

Okay, so you know how babies sometimes get diaper butt syndrome? Where their pants start falling down so you get a big ol' eyeful of diaper? It's super cute.

On a grown-up... not so much.

Nope, not talking about those dudes who walk around with their ass hanging out of their pants. That's to be expected and while eye-rolling worthy, not really something to clutch one's pearls over.

Yeah, no. Today I'm talking about myself.

While running.

Outside of my workplace.

Fun, right?

Oh, and another fun part to this equation. Instead of having diaper butt syndrome, picture the opposite.

Yeah, my undies decided to do the drooping and then my pants threatened to follow along. Can we say wardrobe malfunction?

I got maybe a tenth of a mile before deciding to say "screw it" and give up the hope of running today.

It wasn't worth the highbrows in the surrounding neighborhoods potentially calling the cops on me for indecent exposure. Plus I run past two schools on my route, and I'd prefer to avoid potentially scarring any children who aren't related to me.

I call Ricky to vent my frustration and he's super sympathetic.

Not really.

I can hear him struggling to keep his laughter muffled over the phone.

Thanks, babe. Love you, too. Jerk.

Standing near one of the side driveways of my office I begin huffing and pouting over the idea of going back inside already. It's too nice out.

Hello, it's not often we see the 60s in March in KC. (Attention non-climate change believers, if this isn't an indicator I don't know what is. Yes, I don't particularly enjoy the cold all the time, but it is still winter and maybe - just maybe - it should actually feel like it.)

Anyway, rather than accepting defeat I go all "Goonies never say die" and decide to walk instead.

Was it my normal three-plus miles? Definitely not.

Was I a little grumpy seeing that I walked half the distance in about the same amount of time? You betcha.

But on the positive side of things, at least I was out in the fresh air for a while. So there's that. And now I remember why I'm so picky when it comes to workout clothes. Fully functioning elastic is my friend.

Why basic?

Picture the cliche, 30-year-old, female living in a large Midwestern city. She's probably married with pets, maybe a kid or two, a smidge overweight (if we're being honest) and awkward, but straightforward and friendly. Her tastes are basic: she loves boots and skinny jeans, coffee (Starbucks, particularly), fall weather, craft beer, Target is her favorite, she's obsessed with her town, her teams, etc. Got the image of what she looks, acts and sounds like in your head?  Good.

Hi, I'm Lindsey. I'm pretty basic, but I'm okay with that.

Language warning, Mom! Per Urban Dictionary.

I decided to start this blog because I have a lot of random thoughts and ideas that fly through my head, essay-style, so this was the best way to get it out. And since the best blogs tend to have themes, I needed one, too.

Possible blog ideas:

• Mommy-hood
• Exercise plan with a big end goal
• Personal change
• Pets
• Hobbies/arts & crafts

Notice a trend? They're all a little trite. Google any of these topics and you'll find tons of blogs and bloggers who have already covered these. Not that that's not admirable, especially if done well, but who wants to read the same thing over and over?

Not only that, but I tend to have the bad habit of starting something and not fully seeing it through to the end - at least in my personal life - so that makes for a random, piecemeal blog. Again, not something anyone really wants to read.

So instead I decided to go with the theme of basic. Why? Because it's me, in a nutshell. And, it allows the freedom to write about whatever topic happens to pop into my mind at the moment. Win-win!

So to anyone who happens to stumble across my little chunk of the Internet, welcome. Hopefully you're entertained. If no one finds this, at least I can finally get these essays out of my head and down on "paper."