2017

Let's be blunt, shall we? 2016 has sucked donkey dick. Crass? Sure, but that's what this year has been. Everyone I voted for this year - lost. Some of my favorite celebrities - dead. Mono was defeated, but I got copacetic again as a result. Oh and what's that? Yeah, my basement flooded majorly - twice - and while it's been fixed, we're on the market again as a result of PTSD and wanting good juju versus the crap we've had in this place. Just what I (we) wanted to do again - possibly move.

Deep cleansing breath.

So... how do I make 2017 better? Screw focusing on stupid shit like losing weight or making myself hot. I just want to actually give a damn about myself. For me. Why? Because I'm a better person (mother, wife, daughter, friend, etc.) when I take care of myself but I honestly can't remember the last time I truly did that, 100%.

Yes, obviously, I'm not running away from my responsibilities. I'm still married (9 years in two days - damn) and a mother to a (mostly) awesome, amazing (BTW, my bullet journal proves I use these words way too much) two year old little boy - and I have a great job with a boss who constantly reminds me of how much I actually do since it's easy to forget because of how much I do in a short amount of time. 

I don't want to quit being me. Far from it. I just want to be the best me possible.

I know I'm much better off mentally, physically, emotionally, etc., when I run and do yoga on a more frequent basis. It grounds me. It's a challenge. And it helps me be at a weight I'm more comfortable with.

I'm 31, not 70, so I should be okay with feeling hot. Regardless of whether my definition of hot aligns with anyone else's. Yes, I like skinny jeans, tall boots, and shirts that are long enough to cover up my freakishly long torso. Sue me. That just shows that I have a "look," I just need to accept this fact and tailor my wardrobe around it versus trying to fight it and look like a mom or a wife or whatever should. 

I'm Lindsey: a sarcastic, agnostic, upper middle-class, slightly lazy, working wife and mom. I'm not going to suddenly turn into something else, regardless of how much I may wish too (upper class working mom/wife with a flexible job, friends and expendable income/time to do Pure Barre or yoga at a studio when and where I want comes to mind). I have to accept what I have available, channel my inner Tim Gunn and "make it work." 

So, yeah. In 2017, that's what I hope to make possible. Accept the fact that I know what makes me the best me (denial or not), resist the temptation to revert to lazy habits and just make it happen. For my entire family's sake. 

I have four days to wrap my head around this and figure out a potential plan of attack. Let's do this!